Reblogged from The Onion

WASHINGTON—In a significant discovery that sheds new light on the region’s history, archaeologists excavating a site on Capitol Hill reportedly unearthed evidence this week suggesting that humans once passed laws there.

The team of researchers from the University of Maryland confirmed that it collected a wealth of writing implements and ancient documents, which appeared to indicate that, in earlier ages, approximately 500 humans assembled at a centralized location and worked as a group, with the apparent goal of creating a system of rules designed to govern behavior.

“Our finding that early inhabitants used to work toward the common objective of improving society through formal, cooperative efforts completely changes what we knew about the Washington D.C. region,” said lead archaeologist Peter Douglas, who expressed admiration for the sophisticated, self-sufficient civilization that once flourished along the banks of the Potomac River. “In fact, based on the sheer number of artifacts that we’ve unearthed, it appears this practice of law-crafting may have been their primary livelihood.”

“Apparently, these individuals engaged in this unusual behavior every day for years and years—it was just a normal, routine part of their lives,” added Douglas. “It’s remarkable to think that, for generations, thousands of laws were passed right where we’re standing.”

Archaeologists reportedly recovered more than 2,000 artifacts from the scene, including reams of yellowed parchment that bear such enigmatic phrases as “annual budget,” “joint resolution,” and “Civil Rights Act.” Read more>>