THANK YOU MISSES DEVOS FOR MY REAL GOOD EDUCATION

Reblogged from The New Yorker by  Steven Markow

I am writing at you in the year of 2040. And I am writing to say thank you so much because without you I would not have learned so much. I am just a boy without a lot of money. My parents say I have a lot of money in the bank but every time I try to get in there I get stuck in the spinning door. One time I got so stuck that I got bored and smashed through all the shiny walls to get to the candy basket. Then I forgot what I was supposed to do so I went home without any money. But the candy was so good!

I am the smartest and oldest student in my school so next year I will go to Harvard right away. I will study rules and politics so some day I can make them good like you did. I would not have this amazing scenario of life without you so thank you again to you.

My private school cost my parents lots of big money (they are better at going into banks than me). I got a good education here and did real good. My favorite parts of school are Prayer Class, Pledge of Allegiance Class, Food Eating Time, Run Around Time, Nap Times 1, 2, and 3, and Science (Nap Time 4).

I like my teachers because they are the only ones left. A lot of them went home because they couldn’t stop crying every time we talked.

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