When you spend a lot of time with colleagues, it’s natural to develop warm relationships with them, and maybe even some genuine, outside-of-work friendships. That’s a good thing—obviously work is more pleasant when you have friends in your office. But when you’re the boss, or when your co-worker is, the rules are different: You can be friendly, but you can’t be friends.
The power dynamics in a boss-employee relationship make true friendship impossible. For starters, a manager’s job is to judge employees’ work and make decisions that affect their livelihoods, so the relationship is inherently unequal. And it’s tough to give someone critical feedback on a project or, say, warn them that their job is in jeopardy when you were gossiping over drinks together the night before. Even if you’re one of the few who can pull it off, other employees are likely to be skeptical of the relationship—and will assume favoritism, whether or not any really exists.